Domestic abuse does not only affect the people directly involved in a relationship. In many cases, children and young people are also deeply impacted by the behaviours they witness or experience at home.
Addressing harmful relationship behaviours early can make a significant difference not only for partners, but for the wider family. Programmes such as Somerset Council’s Engage Programme support individuals to recognise harmful patterns and make positive changes that help create safer, more stable family environments.
The impact on children
Children who grow up in homes where abuse or controlling behaviour is present can experience a range of emotional and psychological effects.
Even when children are not directly involved in an incident, they may:
- Witness arguments or controlling behaviour
- Feel tension and fear within the home
- Struggle with anxiety, anger, or confusion
- Develop unhealthy ideas about relationships
Research shows that children exposed to domestic abuse are more likely to experience difficulties with emotional wellbeing and relationships later in life.
This is why addressing abusive or controlling behaviour early is so important. When adults take steps to change their behaviour, it can help break patterns that might otherwise continue into the next generation.
Recognising the opportunity for change
For many people, becoming aware of how their behaviour affects others can be a powerful moment of reflection.
Arguments, jealousy, or attempts to control situations may initially feel like reactions to stress or conflict. Over time, however, these behaviours can develop into patterns that harm those closest to us.
Recognising these patterns and choosing to seek support is an important step towards building healthier relationships and creating a safer home environment for children.
Supporting positive behaviour change
The Engage Programme, commissioned by Somerset Council and delivered by The You Trust, supports individuals who are concerned about their behaviour towards a partner, ex-partner or family member.
The programme helps participants explore the underlying causes of harmful behaviours and develop healthier ways of responding to conflict.
Participants are supported to:
- Understand how their behaviour affects partners and children
- Recognise patterns of control or harmful communication
- Develop practical strategies to manage emotions and conflict
- Build respectful and healthier relationship behaviours
Through structured support and guidance, individuals can learn new ways of interacting that promote safety, respect, and stability within the family.
Creating safer homes for the future
Positive behaviour change can have a powerful ripple effect. When harmful patterns are addressed, families can begin to rebuild trust, improve communication, and create a more stable environment for children.
For children in particular, seeing adults take responsibility and make positive changes can help reshape how they understand relationships, conflict, and respect.
Breaking the cycle of abuse is not always easy, but with the right support it is possible.
Support in Somerset
If you are concerned about your behaviour towards a partner, ex-partner or close family member support is available from the Engage Programme:
Call: 0800 69 49 999 (8am–8pm, 7 days a week including bank holidays)
Website: Somerset Domestic Abuse Service (including live chat, 10am-4pm, Mon-Fri)
Email: domesticabuseservice@somerset.gov.uk
In an emergency dial 999. If speaking puts you at risk, stay silent, tap the phone, and press 55 when prompted.
For those who are deaf, hard of hearing, or speech-impaired, register with emergencySMS.net to text 999 in an emergency. If you use British Sign Language (BSL) you can go to 999 BSL for a BSL interpreter.
