Reality: Abuse does not always take the form of violence. It can be controlling, coercive, threatening or degrading behaviour.

Find out more about the different types of abuse.

Reality: Alcohol and drugs do not cause domestic abuse, but can make existing abuse worse. Many people use alcohol or drugs and do not abuse their partner, so it should never be used to excuse violent or controlling behaviour. The perpetrator alone is responsible for his actions.

Reality: Domestic abuse is often thought of as the beating up of a partner or sexual assault but sometimes there is no physical assault.

Other abusive behaviours include:

• Coercive control
• Psychological abuse
• Financial or economic control
• Emotional abuse
• Harassment
• Stalking
• Online or digital abuse

Short free online awareness courses are available to help you understand more about domestic abuse.

Reality: Children witness abuse more often than parents realise, and the effects can be traumatic and long-lasting.

An estimated 90% of children whose parents are in an abusive relationship witness the abuse. When a child witnesses domestic abuse it is child abuse.

Find out more about children and domestic abuse.

Reality: While disagreeing sometimes is part of a health relationship, when abuse is involved, there is no discussion between equals. There is fear of saying or doing the ‘wrong’ thing, and control over the other person’s thinking, emotions and behaviour.

Find out more about Recognising unhealthy relationships.

Reality: From an urban or rural area, rich or poor, anyone can experience domestic abuse, it does not matter where you live or how much income you have. It happens in all types of relationships, regardless of employment status and what type of house you live in.

Reality: Often domestic abuse goes on behind closed doors and is underreported, however it is not an uncommon occurrence. One in four women and one in six men will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime.

Reality: An abusive relationship has an ongoing cycle of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members. It will often get worse over time.

Reality: Domestic abuse cannot be justified in any way. Nobody is responsible for making someone abusive towards them. Abuse that has been going on in a relationship for a long time, sometimes decades, often becomes normalised, even to the point of believing they deserve to be hurt. This can lead to someone rationalising and defending their abuser’s behaviour.

Reality: Domestic abuse is a crime and should not be ignored. Trying to tackle the situation on your own may be dangerous.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse phone 0800 69 49 999.

In an emergency you should always dial 999, if you are unable to speak because you are worried you will be overheard you can press 55 and the operator will know that you need assistance.